NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
