8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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