he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
