We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
false alarm. still invincible.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
