do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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