I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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