This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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