I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
