i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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