please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
