69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
