so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
