you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
