He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
