just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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