When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
