better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
