It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
