wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
