Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
