If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
