He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
