My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
