I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
