Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
