what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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