Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
