whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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