Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
