I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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