i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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