I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
