I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
