there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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