You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
