I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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