are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
