If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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