quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
