Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
