her vagine was all disorganized.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
