I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
