You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
