just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
