party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
