i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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