yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
