my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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