a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I love black thongs
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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