I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
